My Top three things to avoid at a family portrait session

I absolutely love taking family portraits, but sometimes a family session doesn’t run as smoothly as it could. We all want the same outcome - a beautiful, stress-free session with stunning family photographs. However, on occasion, parents unintentionally do and say things that can have a negative impact on their children’s participation. As a photographer with 25 years of experience, I’ve seen it all! So, here’s a little advice on what parents should steer clear of before and during their family photo session to ensure a smooth and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

1. THE BRIBES-

This is the top one to avoid

Bribing children with treats or screen time or any other thing before and during a shoot is rarely beneficial, it can shift their focus to the reward rather than the experience, making them impatient and eager for the session to end.

In all my years as a photographer this is the number one cause for tantrums and meltdowns during family sessions.

Promising future treats for good behaviour is especially unhelpful with very young children- children under 4 are often not yet mentally developed enough to understand the concept of ‘future treats’ so this will often cause stress.

Scolding a child for not smiling properly or misbehaving during a session and threatening to not give said treats is also not helpful.

Using screens as a distraction can make it difficult to regain their attention once the devices are put away.

Do bring snacks and drinks, especially for younger children, but avoid mentioning or bringing out these snacks until their part of the session is finished. Most family sessions are 1 hour long, so if your children are given breakfast or lunch shortly before arrival, snacks shouldn’t be needed.

Think- if you are pleading with your child to participate and offering all sorts of treats, they are never going to relax and trust that this experience will be fun - after all, would you offer them treats to go to the park or something else that is perceived as fun?, of course not, it’s the parents perception that a photoshoot won’t be fun and that is being transferred onto the children. Just relax, if they see you having fun that is usually enough to get them to have fun too.

2.BAD PLANNING-

Not having a pre-shoot chat with your photographer or sending over inspiration images can lead to misunderstandings about expectations and preferences.

Make sure to discuss how things work with your partner and any other adult family members that are attending- especially in relation to the things in this list,

Arriving late or unprepared can disrupt the flow of the session and create unnecessary stress.

Make sure little ones are dressed appropriately before arrival. This is the second most common cause of a meltdown, even if you are planning on using some of my beautiful studio dresses, it is still best to put your children into something at home that will look ok in your family portraits. I once had a two year old refuse to change out of his ‘paw patrol pyjamas’ for over an hour at the studio.

Avoid booking a time when children may be tired or hungry, booking your session too close to nap and eating times is never a good option.

Try not to do too much, your session is important and has cost you money, so you need to prioritise it. A photoshoot can be quite tiring for little ones, so it’s never a good idea to have a busy morning the day of your session or a very hectic long day or late night the day before. If the children are tired because they have been on a play date all morning or at a theme park the day before, they might be cranky for their session, so either reschedule your other appointments and plans or book your session on a more quiet day.

3. THE CONTROL

Telling children to "be good" or "smile nicely" before and during the session can create unnecessary pressure and make them feel self-conscious, hindering natural expressions.

Do put your trust in your photographer and give them a chance to do their job. Continually repeating the photographer's instructions back to the children can be confusing for them and also make it much harder for the photographer to achieve a connection with the children and eye contact with the camera.

On most occasions, children tend to behave and listen to other adults more attentively than their own parents. For example, children usually do what teachers ask at school, so letting the photographer direct in a fun way usually works much better than parents asking children to sit still and smile.

Try not to obsess about every little detail. Stepping into a shot to correct something often makes the photographer miss the moment and can upset the child. If it’s really bothering you, quietly let your photographer know without disturbing the flow of the shoot. Often, a little stray hair or dirty nose can be fixed later with editing.

Saying look at the camera will usually make them look at you instead of the camera.
Saying smile properly will usually make them smile even more awkwardly.
Saying sit nicely and I will take you for ice cream later will usually make them jump up and start winging about ice cream.

Remember, sometimes things can’t be perfect, and that’s okay—it’s life. Sometimes, it’s the perfectly imperfect family images that are often the best and most natural.

I’ve been a family photographer for around 25 years, and I have always managed to deliver beautiful images at every session. Sometimes, it’s a lot harder to achieve these images because of the scenarios mentioned above, but even with all these obstacles to overcome, I still manage. However, please make my life and yours easier by following my advice: the key is patience and understanding. Most, if not all, of these things may seem quite obvious when explained, but in the moment, sometimes they are forgotten. It’s okay if you slip up; it’s really only advice, and sometimes you might hear an occasional ‘I told you so’ from me when my advice is not followed 😂. But in all seriousness, all families and children are different, and it’s my job to bring out the best in you all and create something you will cherish forever.

The most important thing to remember is to enjoy the moment while I create the memories.

Thanks for reading, and I hope to see you in the studio real soon.

0 Comments

Cake smash fun

June 20, 2025

Fairy fine Art, it’s just so magical

June 12, 2025

Beautiful family of six become seven

June 12, 2025

The top 3 things to avoid with children’s portraits

My Top three things to avoid at a family portrait session

3. THE CONTROL

Leave a comment

Related Posts

Cake smash fun

Fairy fine Art, it’s just so magical

Beautiful family of six become seven

Archive